Talk Like Grown-Ups

By PJ Scott-Blankenship on October 14, 2012

Hello fellow Loopers!

So this week we’re going to try for a different flavor of blog post. Let’s take a step back away from the snark and the satire and focus on your individual problems! That’s right. PJ is doing a Campus Advice Post. After some goading, some anonymous sources have asked me the following questions:

“I have been in a relationship for a long time but I occasionally become attracted to other people. Is this bad? What’s wrong with me?”

I hate this. You’re led to believe all through high school that relationships are meant to go a certain way. Relationships can go in any way, and once you come to college it’s like a moral free-for-all. As for your little problem, well, this is not as uncommon as you’d think. Eyes go wandering all the time, and it is not a horrible or relationship ruining thing if you admit that you’re attracted to a person who is not your significant other. That person won’t change how you feel about the person you’re dating, and you can’t help who you’re attracted to, for goodness’ sake.

The key to any relationship is communication, if you sense a problem, or if you really feel like this is an overwhelming issue, the best thing is not to talk to me but to your person. Set boundaries, set up clear definitions for what you consider crossing the line. If you legitimately consider leaving this person over your crush, then your issues here did not start with the crush.

From flikr, by Daniel Y. Go

“I’m currently roommates with one of my best friends from high school, but our relationship seems strained now that we’re living together. Was this a good idea?”

Ah, this is such a good question. First off, living with anyone can put a dent in your relationship. Whether you be old friends, or complete strangers in a dorm. People have different priorities and different ways of living! Sometimes you may not be the best of friends with a person, but you make really good roommates. Or,  like in your case, you’re the best of friends but can’t seem to make the living situation work.

Like I said before, the key is communication! Talk like grown-ups. If something is wrong, it’s best to deal with it as soon as possible before it becomes a big problem! Keep in mind, though, that college is a period of time where you are radically changing, and this roommate of yours is too! You’re not the same people you were in high school. Well, not exactly anyway. At the end of the day, if you still can’t make it work no one would hold it against you for at least being honest about it.

So that was it for this week! Have something you want to ask me about? Leave a comment below, and I’ll get to it as soon as I can! See you real soon!

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